Becoming the best version of yourself

Putting It Out There In The Universe – Part “Deux”

on February 13, 2014

Sooooo, where was I?

I’d had my massage, I’d put it out there “in the Universe” all those sterling qualities that I was looking for in the perfect partner (I say tongue in cheek!).

I was sitting at dinner when in walks a group of “age appropriate” males, the two tables start chatting . . .

Two of the men are married, two are not.  Married One #1 is chatting with and sitting next to the single female in their group.  She is the one that originally strikes up the conversation with our group and invites us to slide our chairs on over.  My chair is against the wall facing “out”, and also closest to their table.  From the moment they sit down, Single One #1 takes his seat closest to mine and never really scoots under the table – he faces outward totally willing to engage our table.

They go around the table introducing themselves, sharing where they’re from, that they were frat brothers reuniting for a ski trip and share with us their marital status.  So I’ll set it up for you.  There is Lynn, Single woman.  To her right is Married One #1 – they are friends.  When Single One #1 by me tells us he’s (Married One #1) married, he rolls his eyes and then adds “kind of”.   Hmmmm . . .

To the right of Married One #1 is Single One #2.  He has a place in the mountains where some of them are bunking.  He has that look of “player” about him, that devilish smile that says he’s just fine being in that position of “free”.  To his right is Married One #2.  He’s from Dallas, also has a place in the mountains and has the “deer caught in the headlights” look that says he’s happy to be out with his mates, but not happy to be that close to so many unattached females.

To his right is Single One #1 who is close to me.  He’s tall, owns his own business, in good shape, fun loving and charismatic.  He offers to buy us dessert then shares it with us.  He has a place in Denver and Santa Barbara.  I’m thinking that I owe Alejandra a really large tip next time I go in for a massage because this whole “putting it out there in the Universe” thing is pretty cool.  Look what just landed in my lap?

The whole time Single One #1 is flirting with me, Married One #2 looks like he’s about to implode.  I try to engage him into the conversation with talk of football, snow, work – something to make him more comfortable.  The more Single One #1 talks and flirts, the worse Married One #2 looks.   I’m thinking it’s kind of sweet that he appears so uncomfortable probably worried what the wife would think, yet he’s done nothing wrong.

When their meal comes, it’s time for us to leave.  Being the child of the 50’s that I am, (i.e. not comfortable being forward with men) I hand my contact info/card to Lynn, the single female because I’m just not quite brave enough to hand it to Single One #1 even though he’s made it pretty clear he’s interested.  If he wants the info bad enough, he’ll find me, right??  My friends and I leave the restaurant and I’m thinking 2014 WILL be my year.

Two days later I get a panic massage from one of the girls that had been with me at dinner.  Lynn, Single female from dinner, had just found out from Married One #1 that Single One #1 is NOT SINGLE.  Yup, bet you saw that coming didn’t you??  She was worried that he would reach out to me and that I wouldn’t know the truth.  She was protecting me.  All I can think is no WONDER Married One #2 was looking so sick to his stomach the other night.  He wasn’t worried about his wife, he knew that his friend was lying.

I went from about 100 degrees of High to 0 degrees of low in all of 3 seconds.  I’d put it out there in the Universe and this is what happens??  I wonder if this is what MY ex did to meet and hook up with women?  Did he tell them he was single?   Did his friends look smug or did they look uncomfortable?  Doesn’t matter now of course but I saw first hand just how easy it is for these men to troll – if they want to.

The year is young, and I’ll continue to “put it out there” but it was a good lesson for me to learn early on.  We have to look out for each other, it’s a much different Universe these days.


One response to “Putting It Out There In The Universe – Part “Deux”

  1. Jinx Chiles says:

    I feel for all of you “newly” single women out there. You have a lot to learn. If there are any “great” guys out there that are single, they get “fixed up” & taken very quick. The ones that are married & not real happy, all say they are “single.” After you become involved, you find out, and then, maybe they will divorce. But WHO wants a liar & cheater. If he did it to his wife, will he not do it to you, too??
    To find out if a man is single, ask him his home phone no. and address. If he says there is no home phone, then ask for his business phone; not his cell phone. You can find out in 2 seconds if he is married. Sadly, a lot of single women don’t even care any more; if they can get a man, even if it means leaving his family….they go after it!!!
    I would hate to have to go thru all these “learning” experiences again.
    “Never trust a man that says “trust me.” I always just say….. “In God, I trust….and no one else.”
    Jinx Chiles

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