Becoming the best version of yourself

Who Deserves It More?

on October 24, 2013

In Chapter 4, page 45 of “With Or Without A Man” there is an account of a woman who was single because she had never married.  What she wanted to do though is something that any single lady could do whether widowed, divorced or single by choice.  I’m still talking about how important it is to make your living space your own – an expression of who you are.

She had watched her friends get married and receive gifts that she had wanted – items associated with weddings.  She decided that while she couldn’t take control of finding an appropriate man, she could take control of owning those things.

I had always dreamed about having a china set when I got married.  So, I decided to stop doing without just because I was single.  It was real awkward, but I walked right into the department store and registered my pattern, along with all those happy brides-to-be.

When the saleswoman asked about my upcoming wedding, I took a deep breath and told her I wasn’t getting married; I just wanted the set.  I secretly grinned at the woman’s embarrassment, but felt so proud.  Then I told my family and friends about the china pattern I had registered and that that’s what I wanted for all future holidays and birthday presents.”

When I got divorced, I decided I no longer wanted to use the same dishes and silverware and pots and pans, etc. that I’d used during the marriage.  Maybe it was symbolic, but getting rid of them was so liberating.  I slowly started over.  Most probably are not able to get all new things all at once, I certainly wasn’t.  But I found some pretty pottery that reflected my personality and love of color.  I bought slowly on sale, and had it “registered” where my friends and family could help me fill out the set.

I also bought colorful pots and pans.  I wanted a happy kitchen and it actually inspired me to cook more.  It may sound crazy but doing something as small as changing out the towels in your bath that you use every day can be so uplifting.  I donated so many of the things that were still very usable to help out those in need, as well as to kids going off to college etc.  Take a look around you – what can you change out that would lift your spirits?

I challenge you to not only looking “forward” in your new life, but looking “forward to” changing your life for the better.  There are some seriously pretty dishes out there, just sayin’ . . .


2 responses to “Who Deserves It More?

  1. Good for you!!! It IS very liberating and also re-affirming. You’re worth it!

  2. It’s coming up on 2 years since the split and just 2 weeks ago I took all my dishes to Good Will and started with a new set. I also got rid of all the towels and replaced them. Little by little everything is becoming my own. It is a very good feeling.

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