suddenlysinglewomen

Surviving the unwanted divorce

Hitting the Wall –

on April 14, 2012

Hitting the wall.  When I hear that phrase I think of Marathon runners.  I’ve never run one, don’t intend to.  My take on running is that only creatures with four legs were put on this earth to run thank you very much!  But I know people who have run Marathons and my ex ran a Marathon once.  As a matter of fact, that was back when one of those first indicators of infidelity popped up that completely went over my head and I missed it.  You know what they say about hind sight being 20 – 20.  But that’s for another story.  Marathon runners are said to “hit the wall” around my 22 or so of the 26+ miles they run.  Divorce recovery is a lot like that.  The end is in sight yet so far away . . . . .

When you’re recovering from a divorce, it’s one of the biggest life changes you will ever go through.  Nothing as you knew it or lived it will ever be the same again.  We are creatures of habit, we love things that are familiar.  Familiar gives up comfort.  Trying to break away from all that familiarity is a very hard task.  I like to think of it as leaving your “comfort zone”.  There’s nothing wrong with a comfort zone.  Life after divorce however is going to force you out of your comfort zone.

Whatever patterns of behavior and patterns of life you had before just got blown up.  And do you know what happens when you refuse to break those old patterns in your life??  You will hit a wall.  You refuse to make changes and continue to try to live life as you had before is just like butting your head against the wall over and over and over again.  Guess what??  That wall isn’t going to move and it’s not going to crumble upon impact.  It’s just going to give you a really big headache.

Hard?? Yes!!  Impossible??  No!!  I know, I’ve hit it multiple times.  I’m stubborn, I keep trying to live my life as I did before and it’s not working.  When that wall won’t move, it’s time to make changes.  Assess yourself and your life and what you can do to scale that wall.  Is it moving to a different town?  Maybe.  Is it changing your group of friends and surrounding yourself with those people who live like you live and believe in the same moral and ethical values as you?  Absolutely.  Is it putting up boundaries and learning to respect yourself as a valuable and important human being?  Yes, please!   Create a new life for yourself that gives you new options and keeps you away from repeatedly running into that wall.

Find a ladder, it’s going to be great on the other side!!  Believing that gets me through each and every day!

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