I grew up in a fairly small family, all things considered. Mother, Father, brother and me. My parents were older when they married (thanks to WWII and Korea), so I really only ever had one grandparent that I remember well. My brother never married and we’re not that close.
My father’s sister never married, so not alot of aunts, uncles, cousins to speak of on the paternal side. My mother’s siblings did marry and have kids but we never really saw them. My ex had siblings that married, had kids, and now those kids are having kids. As with most ex situations, for the most part post divorce, they moved on. There are a few exceptions, but not many.
Suffice to say when I refer to my “family”, it’s mostly my mother, my sons and their wives, and three grandchildren. At 98, my mother doesn’t travel any more, sadly we’re not in the same town. My sons lives are full of their wives, jobs and children now. It’s a weird ‘in the middle” place that I find myself.
The life plan had been to be happily approaching retirement at this age, and exploring the world again as it started when first married – “on our own”. That plan left me ten years ago. So being “in the middle” alone is kinda weird . . . and at times lonely.
To toss around some grammar here, I no longer seem to have either affect or effect on their decisions or their daily lives. That is their choice. I am no longer necessarily “necessary”. Ours is not a “Matriarchal” family set up. I am on the outside looking in through their bubble. They are happy in their bubble, so when I saw this post above, it put into words what I was feeling.
I have to love them “exactly as they are now”. To wish otherwise gains nothing. I pray nightly for my family generation ahead of me, and behind me. We all bring value to this world.
suddenlysinglewomen 