suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Commitment?

It’s been a long time since I committed “rant” to “paper”, LOL!! Have really tried to be positive, upbeat, uplifting – you get the drift. Want to be a point of light, want to make all my followers feel good. Heck, I want to feel good. : -)

But every once in a while, the evil takes over, and a good old fashioned rant can clear the air – maybe?

So let’s talk about commitment, and not the kind between a “couple”. My past has already shown that to be a losing effort for me.

I’m referring to friends, associates, groups, meetings, plans, etc.

If you say you’re going to do something, DUH, then do it . . .

If you say you’re going to show up for something, then show up . . .

If you say you’re going to attend, and then don’t (PLEASE) let the person who invited you know? I don’t understand. Sorry, just don’t. What happened to manners?

I know you think one person (you) backing out won’t make a difference, because you’re only considering yourself and how that might not mess up the “plan”. But if every person in the group only thinks that their one “cancellation” won’t impact, and 90% of the group decide not to come – well then YES, it does have an impact.

So, before you skewer me – yes I know life happens and sometimes your plan has to be altered through no fault of your own – but maybe it’s just my karma? Maybe I’m trying too hard to create events and opportunities to be together and I just need to give it a rest? Because if I look back at the last few weeks and the few events that were affected by cancellations and no shows, it could be a telling sign that people just don’t wanna hang with me?

But as soon as I quit inviting certain people to certain gatherings I’ll be accused of being a “mean girl” and leaving them out? Total “no win” situation. So the solution? Just quit trying? I don’t know, therefore: The Rant.

We’ve forgotten how to be polite. We’ve forgotten the manners we were brought up with. We’ve forgotten that our decisions do have an effect on others who made the plans and have to decide do we just start pulling chairs away from the table or cancel all together?

As I sit here and type this, I wonder whether or not I should really hit “publish” – and if I don’t you will have never seen this. And if I do, I’ve rolled the dice and decided to take a chance that just maybe you’ve experienced the same dilemma and I’m not alone in this? Because it’s beginning to feel a bit personal.

Or maybe it’s a bit like Sally Fields and her Oscar win, when from the podium she was saying, “You like me, you really like me!” and I just need a bit of empathy . . . (and kudos BTW to the people who DID show up, thank you!)

OK – Rant over. Next couple of weeks I’ll be back to the positive, upbeat and uplifting gal!!

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Life Is Like A Book, . . .

Such true words. I feel like that is what’s happening in my life right now. I’m peaking over a precipice to see “what the next chapter holds.”

Have you been through this lately? A life change? It could be a relationship change, it could be a job status change, it could be a zip code/area code change.

Change is difficult, it’s challenging and it can bring you to your knees if you don’t try to have the right attitude about it. And even if you do have the right attitude about it, you still might need to hear those words of encouragement that you are making the right change.

Encouragement isn’t just for the scared or the weak – it needs to be for even the strongest and bravest because no one ever truly knows what’s going on “inside” your mind. That brave front you put “out there” for all to see? Later at night all alone is when those doubts start to plague you.

So, as you turn that chapter today, tomorrow or some time in the near future, find those people who “have your back”. Surround yourself with those people who offer encouragement and will be there for you, not just during a chapter change, but through life.

Find your “real deal” friends! You will know the ones. Like for me this past week when my BF from High School, and coincidently Maid of Honor in my wedding, reached out to have lunch. After almost four hours, I think the restaurant purposely quit refilling our iced tea glasses thinking we’d taken up the prime real estate on their patio for long enough, LOL! But what a wonderful way to spend an afternoon catching up with a “real deal” friend.

And what wonderful knowledge to carry with me into my next chapter, that I have friends like that in my life – not always seen, but always there when needed. So hey, next chapter? Bring it on, I got this . . .

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Sage Wisdom From A Friend Who “Gets It”

People in our lives come and go. The whole “friends for a reason, friends for a season” thing IS a thing.

And sometimes when you’re feeling at your most vulnerable, whether it’s through a chance re-encounter, or a social media connection, or as in this case – a blog post, people will reach out just when you need it most.

People will show you that you don’t have to be around them, or connect to them daily, to find out that they care. Some are more sensitive than others; some are dealing with enough in their own lives that they can’t take the time to reach out to you/others.

And then this happens. Then this is sent to me from a super sweet, super great human being who I’ve known for 20+ years through non-profit work because?? She gets it. Many of you through the years have reached out on this blog with such positive comments, or have sent them to me privately (or in person) and I hope you know that it’s exactly what I needed at the time. I hope you know that in that instant – you saved me.

You are all my super heroes, but today I wanted to share what Cynthia shared with me, so that maybe today, you’ll reach out to someone just to check on them, prop them up, and let them know you care.

With a 100 followers here, if each of you reached out to just one person today – not your normal family/friend unit, just check in with someone you haven’t seen or spoken to in a while? Today can you please be someone’s super hero? Let them you know . . . you get it.

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Wise Words . . .

A friend sent this out via FB and it hit at the perfect time for me.

As I begin the long and arduous process of downsizing, cleaning out, then donating or repurposing, listing for resale and consigning, deciding what to keep – this hit the mark.

Believe me, the “Within you . . . all you need!” I pray is true because this is hard. My son says this will be “freeing”. Of course he has a great job with a bright future, a beautiful wife who adores him and three happy and healthy children. I’ll tell him to check back with me in 30 years, LOL!

So just incase you needed a boost today – – – here you go.

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