suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

May 24

Easier Said Than Done – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

But so crucial in recovering from past hurts and disappointments. As recommended, I have not read it yet but I’ve added it to my summer list and thought I’d share it here on the blog just in case anyone else is looking to “let go” from past hurts and disappointments.

In “Forgiving What You Can’t Forget” Lysa TerKeurst offers a heartfelt exploration of the journey towards forgiveness, particularly in the face of deep, enduring pain. This book is a beacon for those struggling to move past hurt and betrayal, providing practical wisdom and profound insights into the process of healing. Here are seven transformative lessons from the book that will inspire you to embark on your own path to forgiveness and peace.

1. Forgiveness is a Process, Not an Event

One of the most powerful lessons from TerKeurst’s book is that forgiveness is not a one-time act but an ongoing process. It’s about continually choosing to release resentment and bitterness, even when the pain resurfaces. This perspective was liberating, as it allowed me to be patient with myself, understanding that forgiveness is a journey with ups and downs.

2. Forgiveness is for You, Not for Them

TerKeurst emphasizes that forgiveness is primarily for our own benefit. Holding onto anger and hurt only prolongs our suffering, while forgiveness frees us to heal and move forward. This lesson shifted my focus from the offender to my own well-being, empowering me to reclaim my peace and joy.

3. Honesty with Yourself and God

The book encourages an honest confrontation with our pain and emotions. Acknowledging the depth of our hurt and bringing it before God can be incredibly healing. TerKeurst’s transparency about her own struggles inspired me to be more open about my feelings, leading to a deeper, more authentic healing process.

4. Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Reconciliation

Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean we need to reconcile with them or restore the relationship to its previous state. This distinction was crucial, helping me understand that setting healthy boundaries is essential for my well-being. It’s possible to forgive and still protect myself from further harm.

5. The Power of Compassion and Empathy

Developing empathy for those who hurt us can be a powerful step towards forgiveness. TerKeurst illustrates how understanding the offender’s perspective and humanity can soften our hearts and make forgiveness more attainable. This lesson taught me to see beyond my pain and consider the struggles and brokenness of others.

6. Letting Go of the Desire for Revenge

TerKeurst speaks to the natural desire for revenge and justice, which often hinders forgiveness. She encourages us to trust that ultimate justice is in God’s hands, allowing us to let go of the burden of seeking retribution. This lesson brought a profound sense of relief and freedom, knowing I could release this heavy burden.

7. Practical Steps for Daily Forgiveness

The book provides practical steps and prayers for incorporating forgiveness into our daily lives. From journaling our feelings to praying for those who have hurt us, these actionable steps made the abstract concept of forgiveness more tangible and achievable. Implementing these practices helped me make forgiveness a daily, intentional act.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4dGLcQV

You can ENJOY the AUDIOBOOK for FREE (When you register for Audible Membership Trial) using the same link above.

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Apr 30

Fact: Stay Classy!

by suddenlysinglewomen

Recently had this shared on my FB page and loved loved loved it. When I was young, I noticed, since my parents were older (and therefore had older friends), that many of the women were kinda crabby all the time. I always swore that wouldn’t be me.

Then I got older and started to understand why. Life not where you thought it would be? Your dreams unanswered? People disappoint you? Is this all there is?

Hard to do, but worth trying. We can all try to “remain classy” as we work our way through the disappointments caused by friends, family and the universe. Enjoy these helpful hints and see (not judging, I’m equally as guilty) if maybe there’s one there that you can work on.

(And hoping that my “copy/paste” from FB – to this blog works, LOL! I’m old – but not crabby!!)

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02Ss27WAku7yArfFWpQKN8PeCXX6vvqwGeDe82rbCPv89BnZGxqci7cyBmXrk9PJ44l&id=668774017

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Mar 24

Book Backlog – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

I used to love to read, holding a real book, the smell of the paper when you get it new. Sure, years ago I ordered a Kindle – seemed “with it”. Everyone had one, especially for plane travel. Then after a real lack of use, for some unknown reason I upgraded several years ago to the new version “Paper White”. It still sits in the bedside nightstand shelf, dead battery and all. You see, there’s this stack of real books I haven’t gotten to yet.

So a 2024 resolution is to get through some of those books. I’m doing pretty well. Truth be told, as I read some of them, I wonder . . . now why did I buy this?? However, the latest one has charmed me and made me laugh out loud multiple times. It’s been around for a bit, and clearly someone gifted this to me as they know of my love of canines. I present to you: “Lessons From Lucy – The Simple Joys of an Old, Happy Dog”. The author is a familiar name: Dave Barry.

As promised from my last post, this is light hearted and a feel-good share. I do encourage you to read it in it’s entirety, yes – even if on a Kindle, because there were a few times where I laughed so hard that I had tears, but below I share it’s finer points for a quick “lesson” in being joyful.

  1. Make New Friends. (And Keep the Ones You Have)
  2. Don’t Stop Having Fun. (And If You Have Stopped, Start Having Fun Again)
  3. Pay Attention to the People You Love. (Not Later. Right Now)
  4. Let Go of Your Anger, Unless It’s About Something Really Important, Which It Almost Never Is.
  5. Try Not to Judge People by Their Looks, and Don’t Obsess Over Your Own.
  6. Don’t Let Your Happiness Depend on Things; They Don’t Make You Truly Happy, and You’ll Never Have Enough Anyway.
  7. Don’t Lie Unless You Have a Really Good Reason, Which You Probably Don’t.
  8. Be Grateful for What You Have. (It’s Probably More Than You Think)

When Dave Barry wrote this book (and he’s written many) he was turning 70. Of course the book was published in 2019 (told you I was behind) but since I just turned 70 I took it as a “sign” that I was meant to read it at this time. I’m thinking of printing these “lessons” out and sticking on my refrigerator door so that I can be reminded on a daily basis of ways to be more joyful.

I hope you’ll enjoy these Lucy lessons as much as I did.

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Mar 10

Sunday Thought – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

How’s the time change working for you? The older I get the more I appreciate those states who no longer deal with Daylight Savings Time. Spring forward? How’s about ‘Spring’ing into a face plant. Feeling kinda sluggish today, of course I could also attribute that to the very busy two weeks of travel I’ve had and a fairly packed calendar of events. Didn’t used to slow me down, but OK, I’m older now, ha ha.

So after a dog walk, an appointment at the Apple Store, and a grocery run, I found myself on the sofa binging a series on Netflix. “Madoff – The Monster of Wall Street”. You know about him, you think you understand it, but the details are fascinating and wow, would not wanna be the SEC during all of that discovery. Talk about an EPIC fail. But I digress . . .

One of the main people who narrate on camera is a woman, who in summation at the end of the four-parter comes up with a statement that was so significant to me that I had to pause it, write it down, so I could share it with you. Not only does/did it apply to the Ponzi scheme and meltdown of his investment business, but is totally relatable to many other areas of life. Summed it up so succinctly that I had to stop and think about things in my past, and how to handle relationships in the future.

So here it is, for your consideration:

“The only people who can deceive you completely, are people you trust completely. And the price of trusting anyone is that they can betray you like that”.

I tend to place my trust way too often, and way too easily. Do I want to always be suspicious? No, but maybe a few things in my past might’ve turned out differently if I had been? Hind sight is 20-20 but as I move forward, it certainly is food for thought.

Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but certainly it is OK to be cautious moving forward with personal relationships. They say that trust given freely, once broken, must be earned back. In some cases, maybe you never give it back. Be careful out there and remember the one person you can ever really truly count on, is yourself.

Women's Lives after Divorce

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