suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Dec 12

You’re Not Alone – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

I used to find one of the hardest things to deal with “post” divorce, was how alone I felt.  There was constant doubt of “what could I have done different”, etc. that took me a long time to realize the answer was NOTHING!  The shortcoming was not mine, it was his.

However, you still wonder if anyone else ever feels that same “lost” and “alone” feeling and how they deal with it?   Many keep it hidden, many allow it to drive them crazy, some feel comfortable getting it out there in the open and talking about it with family, friends, clergy, counselors and therapists.  We all deal differently but the key to remember is you are not alone and there are so many others out there going through this life altering experience.

When I see interviews like this, it reminds me that even those we perceive as beautiful and perfect still have broken hearts and loneliness.  Please enjoy this snippet of an interview I came across with Jane Seymour after her divorce.  They seem to have met in common ground and have a healthy relationship.  Not all of us are that fortunate.

This is certainly one of the times during the year that it’s brought so forward in our attention of being “alone”.  Cling to those who make you smile and laugh and bring you joy during the Holidaze!!  Wishing you great peace and prosperity in 2015!!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/12/jane-seymour-divorce_n_6315274.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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Nov 27

Sad Statistics – What Are We Doing Wrong???

by suddenlysinglewomen

I recently read a study in an old copy of my AARP magazine. (Yup, I’m that old – although you start getting this when you hit 50, and that is no longer “old”)

It talks about the statistics of divorce rates and it was just plain ol’ depressing. I have marriageable aged sons and this depresses me for them and for their generation. They have already had friends get divorced – EGAD! What’s our world coming too?

So on days when you feel so alone and betrayed by being a divorcee, think of these numbers and realize that you are by far no longer the minority. Divorce is everywhere and a sad state of affairs (pun intended!).

“In the 1950’s, 60 percent of U.S. families consisted of two married parents: a breadwinner and a homemaker. Today only 20 percent of American children live in such a family. Instead, couples divorce – or never marry in the first place – and form new households, raising their kids in a tumble of step- and half-siblings. And although the divorce rate has been declining among younger couples, among boomers it has increased 50 percent in the past 20 years – with no slowdown in sight. The baby boomers are likely to have the highest lifetime levels of divorce of any generation born in the 20th century.“

I don’t have an answer to this, but I can still recognize that it’s very sad to realize how easy it is to be cast off for that “greener grass” on the other side of the fence.

It’s no wonder so many of my single women friends have NO desire to ever put themselves in that position again. I guess instead of a fence, we should have built walls . . .

Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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Nov 27

A Simple Thought For All Of You Today . . .

by suddenlysinglewomen

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Women's Lives after Divorce

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Aug 24

Contentment – Such A Hard Place To Get To From Here . . .

by suddenlysinglewomen

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Be content with what you have;
Rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
The whole world belongs to you.
– Lao Tzu

When I first saw this I was drawn into the photo.  Thoughts of “the road less travelled” and what the mountains look like after a summer rain and curiosity about what’s behind the bend, filtered through my brain.  I’m a very visual person – reading the text was secondary.

Then I read it.

HELLO!

Isn’t it amazing how some people can just sum it up in a brief, few short lines?  I’ve never been able to do that.  I’m wordy.  My sons don’t even listen to my voicemail messages anymore.  They just see that I’ve called and phone back.

(Of course if they would LISTEN to the message, they could call me back with the answer in hand and save me a lot of explaining but oh well . . . youth!)  Back to my point . . .

I have a very difficult time in rejoicing in the way things are.    I’m content with the things I have, no problems there.  But the way things are?  Not so much.  I believe that is a harder one for me to achieve.  Most especially the way things are that I have NO control over.  I’m NOT a control freak, but when things happen to me that I have no control over?  My world shifts and I lose my balance.

I don’t like losing my balance.

. . . When you realize there is nothing lacking,
The whole world belongs to you.

This one is going to be difficult because I’m one of those people that can look at a situation and definitely see what’s “lacking”.   I vow that this year I will try to head around the corner in that photo above and find that world that belongs to me.

 

 

Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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