suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Oct 24

Loving Being Single??

by suddenlysinglewomen

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.  The truth is – I AM SINGLE!!!  OK, got that out there.  Sometimes I just have to come to grips with the fact that I am “single” through little fault of my own.  I have to adjust – EVERYTHING!

I don’t adjust well.  I like routine, I like pattern, I like boundaries.  I am a better person when I have a plan and no what tomorrow is “supposed” to bring.  When life throws me a loop, I get knocked over.  I don’t like it, I don’t appreciate it and I’m certainly not enjoying it.

Having no one to fight over the remote with can be a positive.  It’s nice to know if I get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom that the lid to the toilet will be down – just the way I left it the last time I used it.  I enjoy squeezing my toothpaste from the bottom and not having to push out the dents in the “middle of the tube” from the former spouse’s thumb!

When I come downstairs in the morning, the house is just the same as the way I left it when I went to bed – NICE!  So OK, I know there are some positives.  But if truth be told – I hate being single.  I hate going to events alone.  When I walk in I feel as if I have a big sign around my neck that says:  CAN’T GET A DATE!!!!!  And that would be true.

I really don’t enjoy being the only one responsible for helping myself through a crisis.  Car breaks down??  Yup – I have to figure out what to do and how to do it without any help.  How do I know if the mechanic is being honest or not?  I don’t.  I sometimes think I could have a heart attack and fall down the stairs and not have anyone miss me, or wonder why they hadn’t heard from me for at least several days.  I’m pretty sure by then I’d be d-e-a-d dead.

The link below will give you some thoughts to ponder in your own personal situation.  For myself?  I’m giving myself permission to hate being single, to not like being alone most nights.  I wish I shared my life with someone special, and maybe someday I will.  Till then the truth is – I AM SINGLE and I’m going to need to learn to trust the auto mechanic . . .

http://www.eharmony.com/blog/2014/06/03/absolutely-okay-say-hate-single/?lcid=95156&laid=Links#.U5chOBYQ5Qo

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Oct 8

It Ain’t Rocket Science – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

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You’ve heard the ol’ saying that goes something along the lines of:  “Don’t talk the talk if you can’t walk the walk”.

I thought of that when I saw this photo and it’s accompanying sentiment.

How many times have you been frustrated by friends, family or even new acquaintances who just “don’t get it”?

Women going through, or coming out the other side of divorce have a hard time when it comes to having people understand what it’s like.  If you haven’t been there, you really can’t understand.  You may think you can imagine the horror of it all, but please don’t try to act like you get it.  You don’t.

I know you can perceive the pain and the injustice, and we really do appreciate you caring and wanting to help in any way you can.  I know when I’ve learned of a tragedy that someone close to me has experienced, I want to be there for them and ease that pain any way that I can.  I will never, however, claim to know what they’re going through or how they feel unless I’ve shared that same tragedy.

This harkens back to one of my earliest blogs when I went off about well intentioned people who tell you that you’ve just got to “Move On”!  Really?  Move on how?  Even the GPS in my car knows there’s more than one way to get between point A and point B and the time needed and miles driven are different in every scenario.   There are never ending roadblocks on your trip toward recovery that even the GPS can’t get you around.

During your journey when you encounter these people who are trying to help but haven’t seen your path, or walked a mile in your shoes try to be kind back and just thank them.  They’ll feel better, surprisingly you’ll feel better for understanding they’re really trying to help.  But know deep down that there’s really only one person who understands your path – and that’s you.

Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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Aug 24

Contentment – Such A Hard Place To Get To From Here . . .

by suddenlysinglewomen

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Be content with what you have;
Rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
The whole world belongs to you.
– Lao Tzu

When I first saw this I was drawn into the photo.  Thoughts of “the road less travelled” and what the mountains look like after a summer rain and curiosity about what’s behind the bend, filtered through my brain.  I’m a very visual person – reading the text was secondary.

Then I read it.

HELLO!

Isn’t it amazing how some people can just sum it up in a brief, few short lines?  I’ve never been able to do that.  I’m wordy.  My sons don’t even listen to my voicemail messages anymore.  They just see that I’ve called and phone back.

(Of course if they would LISTEN to the message, they could call me back with the answer in hand and save me a lot of explaining but oh well . . . youth!)  Back to my point . . .

I have a very difficult time in rejoicing in the way things are.    I’m content with the things I have, no problems there.  But the way things are?  Not so much.  I believe that is a harder one for me to achieve.  Most especially the way things are that I have NO control over.  I’m NOT a control freak, but when things happen to me that I have no control over?  My world shifts and I lose my balance.

I don’t like losing my balance.

. . . When you realize there is nothing lacking,
The whole world belongs to you.

This one is going to be difficult because I’m one of those people that can look at a situation and definitely see what’s “lacking”.   I vow that this year I will try to head around the corner in that photo above and find that world that belongs to me.

 

 

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Jun 6

Life Is An Adventure!!

by suddenlysinglewomen

Well – it’s finally here.  My big Greek adventure that I’ve been planning for three years!!  First half is a girl’s trip, there will be 9 of us!  The Greeks should be VERY VERY afraid, LOL!!!  The islands may  never be the same.  I’ll be spending time with my closest pals all of whom I’ve known for 25-30 years.  I can safely say that these relationships have lasted longer, and have been more loving than most of my “married” years.  Girlfriends just “get it”!  I can’t think of anyone better to celebrate my “zero” birthday with.

Then the next week my eldest and his GF are joining me.  Younger son and wife bagged the trip because of the baby, etc.  Totally disappointed as I rarely get both boys together in the same place but wha’cha gonna do?  They’re adults now and make their own decisions regardless of what might be important to Mom.  We will have a wonderful time anyway and make our own special memories.

So – – – I won’t be posting for a while, but don’t forget about me because I certainly won’t forget about you.  Your support, following the blog and your occasional comments have made it so worth it.  I feel your love through cyber space and am grateful beyond words.   Keep growing stronger, keep loving yourselves and march forward in your lives.  The fog is lifting and the sun is bright!

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