“The best is yet to come.”
It is what keeps me going! I’m just curious enough to believe it, and want to see it! : -)
Lesson #39
“Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.”
I’ve been there, and sometimes I’m still there. I believe it’s human nature that sometimes we look around and are envious of other’s possessions and/or achievements.
To have what they have, would I be willing to trade my life for their’s though? No.
I’m blessed beyond compare, I have more than I ever thought I would. It may not be the path I thought I would take, but I have satisfaction and gratitude for my life.
I like who I am, I’m a darned nice person. Sometimes I fall prey to the “If only I had the same _____ that so-and-so has . . . ” Occasionally I feel sad for some of the things I’m most passionate about that I’ve had to walk away from for budgetary reasons. Watching others still get to do it because they are married and can afford it. Honestly, it stings.
But to make a list of my “haves” and my “have nots” – clearly I “have” and need to learn today’s lesson is part of the process of making myself whole again. I promise to try to be more grateful and less envious, and know it’s part of a bigger plan.
Lesson #38
“Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.”
This can be figurative or literal. I offer this as both.
Cleaning out our closets, cupboards, drawers, shelves, garages, cars – what a great feeling. Taking it to those resale shops is repurposing; keeping it out of the trash and landfills – recycling something that you no longer want, need or use but someone else might want, need or use.
That’s my literal take on today’s life lesson.
My figurative take is that if there are thoughts or emotions swirling around in your brain that are not beautiful or joyful – GET RID OF THEM!!
They are bad, they are evil, they threaten your happiness and your inner peace. They pull you down when what you should be doing is climbing up.
It’s like the junk mail in your computer’s inbox – hit the delete button because if it’s not useful, beautiful or joyful – you don’t need it, promise!
Lesson #37
“Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.”
As I’ve said before, you don’t get a “do over” – this is it!
Your life isn’t something you should watch from the sidelines – you should be involved in it!
Every day you wake up is a new chance to make changes if you’re not happy about the direction your life is taking.
It doesn’t happen over night, it takes time, hard work and fortitude. You may have to do things you don’t like to get to where you want to be. The reward will be worth it.
I didn’t want my divorce, I didn’t want to be single at this age with the possibility of a future alone. No one really wants to go through the challenges of life.
Now that I look back, I understand what the plan was. I know why I’m here and I feel renewed purpose. Yes there will be times on this blog that I’ll be upset and complain and whine and you’ll think I’ve taken steps backwards. It’s just part of the journey; like making a wrong turn and the lady who lives in the dashboard of your car inside your GPS starts telling you where to make a legal U-turn!
Be the scriptwriter, the director and the lead actor in your life – no more sitting on the sidelines.
Lesson #36
“If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.”
I’ve talked about this before, so I won’t cover it specifically again BUT I will take advantage of your attention to say that maybe we look at today’s lesson as a start of showing more empathy toward those with the problems we wouldn’t trade ours for?
Note I don’t say sympathy, because you can feel sorry for someone all day long and it does nothing to help alleviate the problems, or pain they’re going through.
I’m suggesting here that we all implore and show a little “empathy” to those people in our lives who are suffering. Even, dare I say, that we start by showing more empathy toward total strangers?
Empathy is defined:
: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this
In other words, you don’t have to have gone through it, to understand it. I’m the first to admit that there are times I seem to scoff at what other’s are whining about and wonder why on earth they can’t get through it and past it. But till you’ve walked a mile in their shoes . . .
We seem to show less and less empathy these days as we bustle about in our busy lives. One random act of kindness has been shown to multiply ten fold – and it doesn’t have to take a lot of time out of your busy day.
Open a door, offer a smile, carry a bag, say please and thank you, offer to run an errand, bake some cookies, give a listening ear, be kind with your words, give a hug, volunteer your time, be a point of light.
Be the best version of yourself – be AWESOME!!
Lesson #35
“All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.”
Note that this does not say that you WERE loved” – it’s that YOU loved.
Happy Valentine’s Day and for a lot of us, it’s just another reminder that we’re NOT part of a couple.
I’ve written on this blog before of the many different way’s Valentine’s Day has weaved itself into my life so I won’t bore you again – but it’s there, always in the background. Note to self: never name your new puppy Valentine in honor of your BF’s gift, because when he dumps you – every time you call out that name, it stings!
The message today on this day of love, is that you are loving. First and foremost you need to make sure that you love yourself, because if you can’t love yourself and your actions, you will never be able to truly express love to another.
Love your family members, yes even the ones who drive you crazy – we all have them. Love your friends, and even when they are no longer a constant in your life, love them anyway.
Love your neighbors, you never know what they’re going through so send them a message, say hi, smile and wave as you pass by. Show love to those in the service industry, thank them for what they do. Share a smile, brighten their day.
Love those who have hurt you, and those that “done you wrong.” Maybe it’s the first kindness they’ve had in a while? Maybe it’ll never be returned but no one can ever fault you for not at least trying?
The Golden Rule has been passed down for years and years – there’s a good reason. It’s to make us all better, kinder, more loving human beings. It starts with you.
Lesson #34
“Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.”
I love this lesson. This is right up my alley. If I had to work in an inside office cubicle I think I’d wither up.
Getting outside allows you time to think and breathe and take in the beauty of the world. Granted, freakish storms can keep you inside but in general, you should be able to get outside of your house, your office, your comfort zone.
Oxygen is vital to our existence, it’s vital to our brain to operate. For years artists have painted beautiful landscapes that draw you into their beauty and pastoral settings. Being outside makes me happy and even when I’m stuck in traffic I try to look around for the unusual or the beautiful. (People can do some pretty hilarious looking things when they’re in their cars and think no one is watching!) Not encouraging you to be a voyeur, but when they’re jiving to the radio, I try to guess what song they’re listening to. Everyone thinks they’re Jimmy Kimmel!
Take a walk, visit a neighbor, make a grocery or pharmacy run, there seems to be a Starbucks close enough for anyone to walk to. Drive to the park then walk around that park, say hi to someone and smile. Breathe in, breathe out and look for the miracles that are everywhere.
Lesson #33
“Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.”
For me, it’s a bit late. Although I do think they had a wonderfully memorable childhood, they’re now young adults so we’re past that stage.
That said, I’m lucky to have grandkids from my youngest married son and anything I might have missed the first time around, I’ll be sure to make up for the second time around! The biggest regret I have from my sons’ childhood? Whenever their father would cancel our family vacations or plans that we had for an evening out, we always believed him when he said he’d make it up to us – or we’d still get to go but it would be “later”.
For us, “later” never came. If I got a “do over”, it would be that I would’ve packed them up and gone on the trip or the adventure anyway, without him. Back then I was scared to travel as the only adult without “back up”. Now I realize we would’ve been just fine.
You can’t get those years back, but I’m watching my sons become great parents and not doing that same “cancel” thing. If they have to break their promise, they apologize for it and do make it up to them. I realize sometimes things do happen and you have to change your plans. The learning “message” is how you handle it and honor your word to make it up to the one’s who’ve been disappointed.
If you’ve never had children, there are so many organizations out there where kids would love a little of your spare time and attention. It’s never too late to give children a wonderful memory!
Lesson #32
“Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.”
You hear this a lot around birthdays. When people bemoan turning a year older, someone always says “It beats the alternative” – the “dying young” part being implied.
I come from good hearty stock. My paternal grandmother lived to 102, my Dad made it to 87 and my Mom just celebrated her 97th birthday on Christmas Eve. My plan has always been to hit 100 – of course this sends shivers of dread down the backbones of my financial advisors! They better be doing a really good job, right?
We’re all living longer, modern medicine and our health knowledge has made sure of this. Yet I also believe the emotional part of living has a huge impact on not only our longevity, but our desire to see it so.
I’m not a medical doctor, but I go out on a limb to say that I believe that happy people live longer. And while there will always be things unforeseen that take lives too early, like car accidents, etc. – we are hanging around this planet longer than ever before.
I dreaded turning 30, enjoyed turning 40, loved turning 50 and hit the ground running when I turned 60 a couple of years back. I’ve learned a lot and hope to keep that learning pattern going.
Hope you’ll join me along this wild ride and let’s make those financial advisors and our children worry about how long we’ll be around to keep them on their toes!
Lesson #31
Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.”
Of course I don’t mean “literally” – but more about your resolve to survive.
During the YOTD (Year of the Divorce), I thought there were plenty of things that were going to kill me, at least my spirit.
It’s been 9 years since my divorce. Many of those days I wanted to crawl into a tight ball and just die. It was never so dark that I wanted to end my life, but I did understand how people sometimes just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Reality sucks at times.
The further I get away from it, the stronger I realize I have become. I would not be the person I am today if it were not for the experiences I was put through with divorce and having to make my own way through this world.
It didn’t kill me and it did make me stronger. Not the route I would have chosen to get here – but we don’t always get to choose, do we? What we do get to choose is how we deal with it – and that my friends is what makes us stronger for it.
suddenlysinglewomen 