suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Jan 26

Lesson #16

by suddenlysinglewomen

“A writer writes, if you want to be a writer, write.”

Not sure about this as a “life lesson”, but it seems rather apropos for what I’m doing!

My journey here started with my post divorce search for a support group.  When I did not immediately find one, I started writing my thoughts down on divorce “survival” with the thought of starting my own group.  These thoughts would be discussion topics.  Surely there were more of “me” out there?

In a passing conversation that summer, (at a wedding reception of all places – get it?  Love and happily ever after?) a person suggested if I was writing these thoughts down, I should write them in a book.  The thought intimidated me.  Write a book?  Nah, not me . . . that takes good English, good grammar, good punctuation and a lot of words.

The seed had been planted.  I took a “writing” course where my teacher was very encouraging.  She loved the personal aspect of my thoughts and writing.   I hung out in Barnes & Noble and didn’t see any book available like what I was looking for.  I started fleshing out those thoughts I’d written down, I organized into chapters.  I did this all in long hand on tablets, thoughts just flowed.

Then I took a publishing class; that instructor started us out by “publishing” a photo book.  Our next step was learning to blog.  Thus three years ago I began this blog, while still writing thoughts (now on my lap top) for a “book”.  Still never thought it would get out there.

Last December, I met with a potential publisher who walked me through the process, and I handed over my prologue and first three chapters.  She offered me a contract.  My attorney son is still hashing out a few details (nothing like free attorney advice!) but the point is:  I wanted to write about this topic and I did.  If I can do it, you can do it.

Some people do it by journaling, some people do it by blogging.  Point being, if you want to try your hand at writing, then . . . write!   Maybe the life lesson is this:  If you want to try something outside your comfort zone – then do it!   What are you waiting for?

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Jan 18

Lesson #8

by suddenlysinglewomen

“Save for retirement, starting with your first paycheck.”

Though this (first paycheck) really doesn’t apply to some of the “older” folks who’ve been working for a while, the point is in many instances, it’s never too late to start saving.

If you don’t have a “paycheck”, your saving can be done by looking over your budget and your finances and seeing where you might cut back to “save”.

In the past year, I’ve had to start making some cuts in my spending – for many reasons.  The stock market is not helping us, the unrest in the world makes everyone nervous.  We’re all living longer, so our savings for retirement now has to go further and last longer.

No one thinks social security will be around when they need it; insurance/health costs continue to climb.  Everything costs more today than a year ago when I first really focused on cutting back.

You can do quick things like checking your data plans, cell phone plans, internet plans, cable/satellite plans.  I had a second phone line for my fax, so I got rid of it and changed to a printer that was also a scanner.  Eventually our entertainment will be streamed and cable/satellite could be a thing of the past.

These days where I live you can shop around your energy plans.  I also cook a lot more these days, sometimes doubling up and freezing meals so I can take advantage of buying some items in bulk at places like Costco.  Small steps to take that all add up.

Get creative, think outside the box and start putting it away for that eventual rainy day.

 

Divorce Recovery Divorce Settlements Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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Mar 2

Walking – It’s For Free!

by suddenlysinglewomen

I’m involved with two animal rescue groups here in my hometown.   One happens to be a “breed specific” rescue group, where I have adopted and fostered since 2007 – TYOTD.  (The Year Of The Divorce)  The other is an amazing “No Kill” Shelter where all breeds of dogs, cats, ferrets, bunnies – you name it, are welcomed.  The work is heart warming.  But . . . back to the dogs . . .

Dogs are my pet of choice, they keep me company in the house and provide for me the “opportunity” to get out of that same house on a daily “times three” basis!  Meaning??  I enjoy walking my dogs.  They love it, I love it, and it helps me hit my 10,000 steps a day so my FitBit loves it!

Recently I read an article encouraging you to “Fake Joy”.  I’m thinking . . . say what??  But hear me out, because it resonated with my own daily walking experience.  Gretchen Rubin is the best-selling author of The Happiness Project.  She suggested you could “fake joy”.  Seriously?

Here’s what she says:

“We think that we act because of how we feel.  But we also feel because of how we act.  So use this knowledge to change your mood.  Jump up and down; getting both feet off the ground makes you feel childlike and energetic.  Or go for a walk.  Just this morning I got an unnerving e-mail from someone and felt lousy about it.  So I headed out for a walk in Central Park with a friend.  So many things that tend to make a person happy are wrapped up in one little thing – a walk.  It really works!  When I got home, I wasn’t irritated anymore.  I realized, yeah, I got my perspective back.”

I love to walk, and whether or not it’s alone, with the dogs, with friends, around the park or in the neighborhood – it’s exhilarating.  It’s healthy, it’s good for your heart, your brain, your attitude.  I didn’t realize until after reading this article that the author is right – I always feel better when I’ve come in from a walk.

It’s a small step (pun intended) but maybe the beginning to making you feel better about your life?  The best part?  It’s FREE!  So as I wrap this up, and the dogs are sitting at my feet looking at me and thinking – LADY, ditch the bathrobe and let’s get going – it’s time for me to take a walk because I know that it’s going to make me feel better.  Let’s go!

Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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Sep 12

What Starts Here, Changes The World . . .

by suddenlysinglewomen

McRaven to Grads: To Change the World, Start by Making Your Bed [Watch]

Maybe by now most of you have seen, or at least heard about, the Graduation Commencement address given back in May to the Class of 2014 at the University of Texas by Admiral McRaven.  I’ve listened to it multiple times.  I love it.

There are times when just plain ol’ common sense can get you through your life’s challenges.  The things spoken about in the speech are simple thoughts that put into the right context can seem to be so brilliant.   If you’ve already seen it, heard it – and don’t won’t to do so again – then just delete this.

But each time I listen I feel as if I pick up on something new that I missed the previous time.  So if you’re like me, and can’t get enough of a good thing, then here it is.  Enjoy and as always . . . “Hook ‘Em Horns”!

Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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