“It’s OK to say no”
It really really is. When I was younger and starting out in that “time of life” where I had retired from teaching and was a “stay at home” Mom, I became a volunteer. My husband was with an accounting firm and the wives (yes, sexist but at that time there weren’t THAT many women in accounting) were encouraged, strongly, to become a force in the volunteer, charitable, non-profit world.
It’s all about client development and networking. What better way for a member of a firm, to meet potential clients, than through the relationships the spouse has on a social level? Throw in the “do good” work and it was a win-win.
I had a mentor (thanks CS) help me, and began to get involved. REALLY involved. I found that I had a certain proclivity for being able to organize events and raise money. With a successful event, came the opportunities (and “asks”) to become involved with even more events. Over my really active years, I was chairing a major fundraiser event, one per year. My first volunteer “job” started in earnest in 1984/85. I was ripe for the pickin’.
That soon evolved into sitting on Board of Directors, Executive Committees and Capital Campaigns of some of those same non-profits. I enjoyed it. I felt appreciated and needed. During that period, my sons were growing up and seeing that it was good to give back. They became involved in some of my activities as well, and saw the value of “giving back”. They also learned that time management is a skill.
I had a good run, but have now really cut back to only a few groups that I am most passionate about. I’ve passed the torch, and I’ve learned “It’s OK to say no”! It really really is.
This even drifts down into your personal life. If a family member asks you if you’re available and you are not, then just say no. There’ll be other opportunities. If a friend asks you to do something that you really don’t have to time to commit to, and you’ll really regret saying yes to, then be brave, it’s OK to say no.
It’s your life, it’s your time, and you’ve earned the right to think of your time as valuable. 35 years later, I’ve made the most amazing friendships through my volunteerism, and I’d like to think I’ve done some good. But now I also know it’s OK to say no.
suddenlysinglewomen 