suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Lesson #16

“A writer writes, if you want to be a writer, write.”

Not sure about this as a “life lesson”, but it seems rather apropos for what I’m doing!

My journey here started with my post divorce search for a support group.  When I did not immediately find one, I started writing my thoughts down on divorce “survival” with the thought of starting my own group.  These thoughts would be discussion topics.  Surely there were more of “me” out there?

In a passing conversation that summer, (at a wedding reception of all places – get it?  Love and happily ever after?) a person suggested if I was writing these thoughts down, I should write them in a book.  The thought intimidated me.  Write a book?  Nah, not me . . . that takes good English, good grammar, good punctuation and a lot of words.

The seed had been planted.  I took a “writing” course where my teacher was very encouraging.  She loved the personal aspect of my thoughts and writing.   I hung out in Barnes & Noble and didn’t see any book available like what I was looking for.  I started fleshing out those thoughts I’d written down, I organized into chapters.  I did this all in long hand on tablets, thoughts just flowed.

Then I took a publishing class; that instructor started us out by “publishing” a photo book.  Our next step was learning to blog.  Thus three years ago I began this blog, while still writing thoughts (now on my lap top) for a “book”.  Still never thought it would get out there.

Last December, I met with a potential publisher who walked me through the process, and I handed over my prologue and first three chapters.  She offered me a contract.  My attorney son is still hashing out a few details (nothing like free attorney advice!) but the point is:  I wanted to write about this topic and I did.  If I can do it, you can do it.

Some people do it by journaling, some people do it by blogging.  Point being, if you want to try your hand at writing, then . . . write!   Maybe the life lesson is this:  If you want to try something outside your comfort zone – then do it!   What are you waiting for?

2 Comments »

Lesson #15

We’re a third of the way through our journey.  How are we doing?  I’m getting a lot out of this process, mainly because it makes me pause and think that I can be much more positive.  I hope you are as well.  I’ve always fancied myself as a “glass half full” type person.  The actions of a few over the past 15 years have caused me to slip a bit in my resolve.

Writing my thoughts and sharing them with you has helped me to reaffirm my natural instincts – and for that I am grateful.  So . . . on to today’s Lesson!

“You can get through anything if you stay put in today.”

Would this be similar to the old adage, “Take one day at a time”?

I am a self confessed worrier.  I admit it, I worry about tomorrow.  Sometimes I live “in the moment”, but rarely.  I’m a planner, I’m a scheduler, I know what I’m doing tomorrow, next week, next month – you get the drift.

I suppose this Lesson is telling me I need to stay in today and complete today.  So here’s to today, and making it the very best it can be, putting one foot in front of the other!

Leave a comment »

Lesson #14

“Life is too short for long pity parties.  Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

Well . . . tell me how you REALLY feel!

I see this a lot when I’m together with a group of divorced, single women.  To be fair, I think we all have days like this whether we’re single and alone, or with a significant other and in a relationship.  Everyone has bad days and since we do, there is the occasional pity party.  That’s normal.

What is not normal is if it continues on to be the focus of your every day.  We all have friends like this, the world is always sour to them.  They get started on the “woe is me, poor me”  and you want to throw your hands up and say stop!!  (Or at least leave the room)

People like this can suck the oxygen out of the room; they are a total buzz kill. My guess is 9 times outta 10, they don’t even realize it, so mired in self pity they are.

Can you help them?  Maybe.  The one thing you can do for sure is make sure you’re not one of them.  You reach a time when you can tell that your friends and family just don’t want to hear about it anymore.  That’s a sign that they’ve moved on and they are thinking so should you.

You may not be ready to move on, but seeking a different outlet might be the best course of action.  Perhaps it’s time to seek professional help?  Look around you and find the positives and convince yourself to celebrate those – now that’s a party we’d all like to attend.

Leave a comment »

Lesson #6

“You don’t have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree.”

Boy was THAT what I was married to for 30 years.

I am not a fighter, I back away from fights.  I don’t start them, and I don’t like to be pulled into them – which mostly makes the person fighting with you try even harder.

I don’t like arguments because . . . really?  Who wins?  Give me a sports event, and yes, there is eventually a winner and therefore, a loser.  But in my opinion, in any kind of an argument, you rarely change the other person’s opinion or point of view, so probably you don’t really win, the other person just quits, gives up (or gives in).

How civilized, to agree to disagree.  The old saying “there’s two sides to every coin” can go along way here.

So the next time someone tries to draw you into a fruitless argument, just thank them for their opinion, and agree to disagree.

Leave a comment »