suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

The Two “B’s” . . .

Do I have you thinking??  What do you think the two “B’s” are?

Breakfast or Brunch?

Bats and Balls?

Bend or Break?

Biggio and Bagwell?  (OK, that’s only for real baseball fans!)

OK, I’ll stop now!  : -)  For the purposes of this post, my two “B’s” are “better” and “bitter“.

I’ve covered this before, but a recent incident brought it back in memory and it’s OK to sometimes rehash a thought.  With the exception on one little letter, which one are you?  How can changing that one little letter make you a happier person?

No matter if you started following this post because of your own divorce, or you just signed up to make me feel better (and hopefully yourself!), this covers everyone.

Sometimes in those critical moments of making a decision on how to react to a situation, you come to a crossroads, a fork in the path.  You make a choice and it can either make you a happier person, or doubt can lead you to falter, or down a darker pathway.

“The circumstances of life either shrink or stretch your faith.  Either you get better or you get bitter.  The choice is yours.”

I hope that in life, I have made the “better” choices, because choosing to be bitter only hurts you!  In closing, take heart in the positiveness of this old gospel banner:

Doubt see the obstacles.

Faith sees the way.

Doubt sees the darkest night.

Faith sees the way.

Doubt dreads to take a step.

Faith soars on high.

Doubt questions, “Who believes?”

Faith answers, “I”

 

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Short and Sweet – – –

A quick share today – a poem!  Author is unknown but I saw it and wanted to share with my blog family:

 

Of the themes that men have known

One supremely stands alone.

Love is the theme, Love is supreme.

Sweeter it grows, glory bestows.

Bright as the sun, ever it glows.

Love is the theme, The eternal theme.

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Recent Dinner Discussion . . .

I recently attended a joint birthday dinner with friends.  We’re all divorced, and from youngest to oldest is about 10 years.  One of the things to come out of this dinner, other than the enjoyment of being with good friends, was just how content we all are beginning to be with our lives, jobs, families, friends and “single-ness”.  Yes – we do NOT need a man to “complete” us.  It worked in the movie Jerry Maquire, but that’s just Hollywood!

It reminded me of a passage in a book I read last summer that had struck me as where my life is currently.  It took me a while to find the passage, but below I’ve copied it to share with you all.  My greatest wish for my followers is to find your own version of contentment.

“Am I seeing the blessings of contentment in my life?”  

Contentment brings blessings.  Blessings such as joy in the present, and health and satisfaction in the simple things of life.  Contentment brings a settled sense of sufficiency and a peaceful pace that proves “more” is not the focus of your thinking.  You have life.  What a privilege to be alive in this world!  Contentment brings joy in the present.  

Contentment also builds our capacity to enjoy ordinary pleasures.  If you’re content, simple stuff makes you happy.  Like a nice walk.  Go for a walk today with a member of your family, and hold his or her hand.  Talk about important things.  Enjoy a simple pleasure; for example, a loving conversation or a good meal without racing to your next appointment.  Simple things:  a nice piece of music savored.  Cultivate your capacity to enjoy ordinary pleasures.”

Find contentment today, find your smile and be that point of light some are searching so hard to find!

 

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Totally!

I was recently on a trip with a group of women, there were 24 of us.  Talk about diversity of personalities.  I loved it – sitting back and watching the “dynamics” of 24 dynamic women?

Well . . . maybe 23, not sure I should count myself, but . . .

I thoroughly enjoyed these ladies almost more than the sights we were there to see.  I’m always learning different perspectives and points of views, gathering knowledge and information.  The ages ranged from late 30’s/early 40’s to “somewhere” in their 70’s.

A plethora of backgrounds and stories!  Totally fun!

During one of our shopping excursions, I found the pillow that I picture above here.  I did not purchase it, but I love love love the sentiment!  The “30-something’s” won’t appreciate it as much as I do, but some day they will.

As for me?  It continues to bring a smile to my face, as I hope it will to you.

 

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A Pearl Of Wisdom Heard Recently At A Luncheon –

When looking for motivation to achieve a difficult task, the speaker relayed what her husband always told her:

“Gaining an inch is a cinch, gaining a yard is hard”

So the lesson?  Baby steps!

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Thanks To FR For These Pearls!

50 Timeless Pieces Of Advice About Love & Relationships.

1.

Don’t stay with someone who antagonizes you or belittles you.

2.

If you feel lonely, you’re better off being alone.

3.

Know when to walk away.

4.

You can gauge a person’s love for you by how they treat you when they are upset with you.

5.

Love is a verb, not a noun.

6.

When a lightbulb goes out, you fix the lightbulb. You don’t get a new house.

7.

Don’t settle for someone who has zero regard for your feelings or wants just because you’ve been together a long time.

8.

Just because you love each other does not mean that you’re good together long-term.

9.

No relationship is perfect and there will be conflict. What matters is the desire to solve the problem.

10.

Always fight the problem, not the other person. If you keep this in mind when arguing, you’ll be able to actually resolve the issue than be mad at each other.

11.

Don’t look for a girl you want to treat like a princess, look for a girl you want to treat like a partner.

12.

Don’t disparage your SO behind their back.

13.

Confidence isn’t “I know she likes me”, confidence is “I’ll be okay whether she likes me or not.”

14.

There are a number of people you can be compatible with. No one is perfect. You have to work at love.

15.

You’re not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

16.

Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when you see food coming at a restaurant.

17.

The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.

18.

Stop trying to find the right person and start trying to BE the right person.

19.

The person who cares least in the relationship has the most control.

20.

Don’t listen to other people’s comments. Make your own relationship rules.

21.

It’s better to be happy than to be right.

22.

Always be the first to genuinely apologize after a fight.

23.

You can’t expect someone to love you when you can’t love yourself.

24.

Just because you liked the friend-version of someone doesn’t mean you’ll like the relationship-version of them.

25.

Before you move in with your partner, go on a road trip with them.

26.

Don’t be afraid to open up and be vulnerable. Vulnerability can bring you closer together and strengthen the two of you.

27.

When you and your SO are arguing, remember—it’s you and them VS the problem. Not you VS them.

28.

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

29.

Don’t fall in love with someone’s potential.

30.

It takes two happy individuals to make a happy relationship.

31.

If the world didn’t give each other second chances, we would all be single.

32.

Everyone is searching for the perfect person, but no one is trying to be the perfect person.

33.

If you love the memories more than the relationship, it’s time to move on.

34.

Just because a person is right or perfect for you, you may not be the right one for them.

35.

If it’s broken, fix it. If you’ve lost count of how many times it’s broken, or the cost of repair far outweighs the initial outlay, throw it away and move on.

36.

Out of all the things needed for a successful relationship, love barely makes the top 5. Honesty, loyalty, trust, and communication all have to be there.

37.

Always hold hands when talking about the hard stuff. It helps to keep the negative emotions in check & shows you care.

38.

Be the man or woman you would want your future or current child dating.

39.

Love is about appreciation, not possession.

40.

Don’t go to bed angry. Everything will be there and worse in the morning.

41.

Always seduce your lover, even if you are in a committed relationship. Otherwise, another person will.

42.

Talk to each other about problems, not friends and family.

43.

Keep no secrets, tell no lies.

44.

Sometimes you gotta wise up and let go. Yes, it hurts. But it’ll hurt more in the future.

45.

Relationships aren’t hard. If it is hard, you are probably with the wrong person.

46.

Love is not a feeling. Feelings fade, change, respond to situations and events. Love is a choice.

47.

If it feels wrong at the beginning, it probably won’t get better.

48.

If you’re keeping score you already lost.

49.

Love is an action, not a feeling. It’s learned and developed skill, not an experience. Not that the romantic feeling doesn’t exist or isn’t a wonderful part of the relationship, but it doesn’t make it last.

50.

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook

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So True My Friends!

For those of you who follow my Facebook Page, this will be a duplicate but even so – still  important to share and understand.  We need our girlfriends.

I cannot begin to fathom what my life would be like “post divorce”, or post any relationship, if I had not had the support of my girlfriends.

Enjoy this article that I share, as it was shared with me:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-kubiszyn-kampakis/why-women-need-their-girlfriends_b_5539150.html?ncid=engmodushpmg00000004

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12) What Goes Around Come Around

Today is our last “thought” and if anything should strike terror into the hearts of the Mean Girls, this is it, LOL!!

Admittedly, when someone “does me wrong”, I do think this thought – alot!  How can you not?

Who knows if it actually happens; who knows if we’ll be around to see it or if we should WANT to see it?

But we’re human . . .

 

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11) You Only Fail If You Quit

I always admired the ad company who came up with the slogan for the Texas Lottery:  “You can’t win if you don’t buy!”

Pretty obvious if you think about it, right?

Well today’s thought is along those same lines of “reason”.

If you don’t at least try, you’ll certainly never succeed but even more than that, a sure fire way to fail is to quit.  Whether this is a goal at work, at home, in your personal life or your family life – you surely will never succeed if you quit.

Having watched all the latest movies reliving WWII it brings to mind:  “Failure Is Not An Option” – so let’s get stoked to succeed by not quitting!

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10) Kindness Is Free

We all want it, but do we all offer it?  And if not, . . . then why not?  It costs nothing.

Giving kindness not only makes the recipient feel better, but not too surprising is that it makes you feel better also!

Try a random act of kindness today and see what happens – I’m betting that you’re going to feel better the rest of the day.   Make it a habit – we’ll all be better for it.

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