suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Lesson #39

“Envy is a waste of time.  You already have all you need.”

I’ve been there, and sometimes I’m still there.  I believe it’s human nature that sometimes we look around and are envious of other’s possessions and/or achievements.

To have what they have, would I be willing to trade my life for their’s though?  No.

I’m blessed beyond compare, I have more than I ever thought I would.  It may not be the path I thought I would take, but I have satisfaction and gratitude for my life.

I like who I am, I’m a darned nice person.  Sometimes I fall prey to the “If only I had  the same _____  that so-and-so has . . . ”   Occasionally I feel sad for some of the things I’m most passionate about that I’ve had to walk away from for budgetary reasons.  Watching others still get to do it because they are married and can afford it.  Honestly, it stings.

But to make a list of my “haves” and my “have nots” – clearly I “have” and need to learn today’s lesson is part of the process of making myself whole again.  I promise to try to be more grateful and less envious, and know it’s part of a bigger plan.

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Lesson #38

“Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.”

This can be figurative or literal.  I offer this as both.

Cleaning out our closets, cupboards, drawers, shelves, garages, cars – what a great feeling.  Taking it to those resale shops is repurposing; keeping it out of the trash and landfills – recycling something that you no longer want, need or use but someone else might want, need or use.

That’s my literal take on today’s life lesson.

My figurative take is that if there are thoughts or emotions swirling around in your brain that are not beautiful or joyful – GET RID OF THEM!!

They are bad, they are evil, they threaten your happiness and your inner peace.   They pull you down when what you should be doing is climbing up.

It’s like the junk mail in your computer’s inbox – hit the delete button because if it’s not useful, beautiful or joyful – you don’t need it, promise!

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Lesson #37

“Don’t audit life.  Show up and make the most of it now.”

As I’ve said before, you don’t get a “do over” – this is it!

Your life isn’t something you should watch from the sidelines – you should be involved in it!

Every day you wake up is a new chance to make changes if you’re not happy about the direction your life is taking.

It doesn’t happen over night, it takes time, hard work and fortitude.  You may have to do things you don’t like to get to where you want to be.  The reward will be worth it.

I didn’t want my divorce, I didn’t want to be single at this age with the possibility of a future alone.  No one really wants to go through the challenges of life.

Now that I look back, I understand what the plan was.  I know why I’m here and I feel renewed purpose.  Yes there will be times on this blog that I’ll be upset and complain and whine and you’ll think I’ve taken steps backwards.  It’s just part of the journey; like making a wrong turn and the lady who lives in the dashboard of your car inside your GPS starts telling you where to make a legal U-turn!

Be the scriptwriter, the director and the lead actor in your life – no more sitting on the sidelines.

 

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Lesson #29

“Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends will.  Stay in touch.”

In other words, keep your priorities straight!

Don’t keep in touch?  Really?  These days with the reach of social media and the internet, how can you come up with any legit reason to not keep in touch with friends and family.

Cell phones, no long distance charges, texting, Facebook and email – these are many of the ways you can keep a relationship from fading away into nothingness.   “He/She was a great employee” should not be how your tombstone reads.

I would much prefer to be remembered for the type of friend I was.  I would much prefer to be remembered as a good mother who raised/reared two great sons.  I would much rather be remembered as a fun grandmother, a passionate volunteer, a caring human being – one who stayed in touch.

 

 

 

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Lesson #26

“What other people think of you is none of your business.”

Today would’ve been my Father’s 105th birthday.  Of course, I lost him long ago, in March of 1998 but his wisdom has stayed with me forever.  I sometimes wonder what he’s thinking of my life’s journey as he looks down at me from up above.  Does he have a good opinion of how I’m doing?

He’s visiting his elders in their heavenly nursing homes, singing in the church choir, mowing and “edging” the grass every Saturday, playing devil’s advocate in every conversation, rooting for his beloved Texas Aggies and looking for a foot massage (except we called them “rubs” back in the day!).

He would’ve given me the above advice.  He was his own man.  He was a man’s man.  My Dad served in the Army through WWII and Korea.  He was a leader of men, and gave no quarter.  Mostly he minded his own business, and rarely minded anyone else’s.  He lived his life and allowed others to live theirs.

Opinions of his actions were seldom, if ever, sought.  To say he was self-assured is an understatement, but then again, he grew up in a much different time.  There was not much of a male role model in his life, so my Granny sent him to “military academy” – back when it wasn’t a place of just troubled young men.  She wanted him to have strong structure and guidance, and he got it.  Served him well in his Army career, and later in his engineering career.

When we live our lives worried about what others think of us, we’re not being very good or fair  to ourselves.  If all we do is seek their approval and their opinion of our actions and our lives, we’re not really living for ourselves – we’re living for them.

It really isn’t my business to know the opinions others hold of me; I’m pretty sure I might be surprised.  They don’t know my reality, they haven’t walked a mile in my shoes.  As long as I continue to live my daily life in a physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy way, then really only my opinion should be my business.

Live your life so you have an excellent opinion of yourself!  I think you’ll turn out A-OK!

 

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Lesson #23

We’ve crossed the half way mark on our Life’s Lessons adventure.  I don’t know about how you’re feeling, but I’ve loved having “food for thought” everyday.  If you’re reading this, thanks for going on this journey with me!

“No one is in charge of your happiness except you.”

Let’s say that again:

“NO ONE IS IN CHARGE OF YOUR HAPPINESS EXCEPT YOU.”

‘Nuff said!

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Lesson #17

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.  But the second one is up to you and no one else.”

I had a great childhood.  I was the first born and favorite daughter!!  Ok, maybe I was the ONLY daughter but I was still the favorite one!

I don’t look at the “oops’s” in my life and blame it on my upbringing, my Mother, my Father or anyone else.  I had probably fewer adventures than most.  I never pushed the boundaries, I was a rule follower.  We stuck close to home, maybe the occasional visit to relatives who all lived in state.   We played outside a lot, and not with fancy toys.  There was minimal TV, and then what ever program we watched was determined by my Father.  Walt Disney and Bonanza come to mind.

We had one phone, kids didn’t really use it to communicate till maybe high school.  Even then, since it was in the kitchen where everyone listened, there weren’t many conversations over the wires.   Our conversations were face to face.  The first time I was dishonest with my parents, I was a Senior in High School and it was re: a date.  I got caught.  Like I said, not many “adventures”!

If the second childhood is up to me, I can only hope that I do as good a job on this next one as I did on the last one!  I will, however, be looking for more adventures this time around!

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Lesson #9

“When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.”

Need I say more??

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Lesson #7

“Cry with someone.  It’s more healing than crying alone.”

I think back to the day I confirmed my worst nightmare, my husband was having an extramarital affair . . . with a friend.

I still have the tightness in my chest when I remember that day, and it’s been since Memorial Day Weekend, 2002.  At the time my two closest friends lived a block from each other.  I drove over to one of their houses, the other friend drove over.  The three of us hugged and cried and tried to understand what in the world was going on, and what I was going to do.

Empathy, compassion, anger, shock, and oh so many tears – thank goodness I had those women to cry with.  I can’t imagine what I would have done if I’d had to deal with this alone.  It was a while before those angry tears became healing tears.

No matter what the crisis is that blind sides you, don’t try to carry the burden by yourself.  Whether it’s a friend, a family member, a therapist, a member of the clergy, what matters is when you share, you realize that you’re not alone.

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Power of Positive Thinking!!

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I saw this on a friend’s FB page.  I told her I was going to steal it!

It’s been an interesting year, full of ups and downs.  Not sure if the ups won, or the downs won, but one thing I know for sure . . . . . I have to be the one to decide how I’m going to face 2016!

I think “AMAZING” sounds pretty darn good, how ’bout you??

Heartfelt thanks for following my blog in 2015, my third year.  You’ve helped me gain insight, and kept me looking for the positives.  Here’s hoping that we all find what it is that we’re searching for with this next 366 days (it is a Leap Year remember!).

Wishing you all the BEST!  Love and Hugs to you!

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