Sending prayers today to my friends and family in Houston/Galveston, and up and down the Texas coastline, as we/they brace for the impact of Hurricane Harvey.
Please be safe out there, stay in if you can and if it turns out that this was blown out of proportion, then hey – we’ll take that!
We may beg for a break in the heat, but pretty sure we didn’t want it this way. : -)
This will be the last share, there are so many, but I also have so many others things to offer here that I’m going to move on after this one.
Chapter 100, pages 338-340 by Tena Beth Thompson:
“When I was newly divorced, I found life scary and intimidating. At first, I felt I was being punished, but in reality I was given the opportunity to find myself and create a new life. I had no idea where it would take me, but I was ready to take the leap. Although I was frightened to travel in a new direction, it was also exciting to ponder my options. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted, but I knew what I didn’t want: the old me. I was not the same person I had misplaced all those years ago. Prior to this time, my epitaph could have read, “She died without ever having lived.” Thankfully, that would no longer be the case. I was now strong and embraced the courage I never knew I had.”
This can be your view no matter what has occurred to alter your “life as you knew it”.
I went from being a daughter, to a wife, to a mother. I was never just me. There were times I was made to feel like being “me” wasn’t good enough, or a part of “the plan” – even though I had very little input into that same plan.
Now I make the plan. Now I can be “me”. I have been given the gift of a new beginning and as it said on the cover of this book – I will “thrive”. It’s not without it’s challenges, and scary times, but I’m going to be happier and stronger than ever before!
Here’s another share of a portion of the book I mentioned in the previous blog post:
“Chicken Soup for the Soul – Divorce and Recovery”, although as I pointed out, these excerpts that I share here can relate to many different circumstances that we all face. It’s all about being the very best version of ourselves that we can be. They use the word “thrive” – and I like that concept alot. So here goes another, . . .
Chapter 79, pages 263-266 as shared by: Deborah Batt.
“Years of caring for others had caused me to ignore my own needs. Oddly enough, I came to the realization that I did in fact have needs. I needed to feel warmth and love. I needed to feel accepted and that I somehow belonged. I needed to feel respected and honored. I needed to feel happy and content. But, most of all I needed to feel that the one person in the whole world who should love me the most would love me the most, regardless of the mistakes that I’ve made. Someone who could accept my faults and praise my strengths and make me feel everyday that I was the best that I could be.”
Now doesn’t that apply to almost any situation? Not just divorce, but the need to feel valued by those around us?
I hope for you that you have those people in your life that make you feel valuable, and loved for who your are. The others just aren’t worth your time . . .
The next few posts will be from a book I just recently found during my “purge” phase of cleaning out.
Yes, I’m one of those old school types that still likes to read an actual book printed on paper. I do have a Kindle, and I have good intentions of using it! Still, I thought it would be wise to read all the hardback/paperbacks that I’ve accumulated and then be able to donate those or add to the neighborhood “free library”!
So the latest book I unearthed is “Chicken Soup for the Soul – Divorce and Recovery”. Even though my divorce was almost ten years ago, the word “recovery” in the title encouraged me to take a quick look at it. I feel that I am recovered, worked hard to get there/here. It says on the cover that it has “101 Stories About Surviving and Thriving after Divorce”.
Well . . . who doesn’t want to thrive, right?
I have friends who will not read my book, or follow my blog because they think it’s only about divorce, and that it’s only negative. They couldn’t be more wrong. Funny, if I had a friend who had written a book, or toiled away with a blog to try to help others, I’d buy it, or follow it, just to be supportive. After all, if you don’t agree with the blog, or don’t want to always read it, just delete it from the inbox, . . . simple. The support is the important thing. But I digress, . . .
So I would like to share some of the things in the book that I really liked, and they can apply to many situations – not just divorce.
The authors/compilers are Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Patty Hansen.
From Chapter 50, pages 165-166 T’Mara Goodsell says:
“At a time in my life when I feel stranded and alone, some friends make a point of “checking in” to see how I’m doing, and some make sure the children and I always have plans for the holidays.
There are the friends who know how to be there, and the friends who know how to listen. There are those who offer perspective and ones who know how to be silly. There are the ones who – bless their hearts! – are willing to rearrange their schedules in order to make precious time for me, all because they know just how valuable a real friend is.
Most amazing of all are the friends who teach me (usually by example, like the gentlest and wisest of teachers) how to forgive.
Every single one of them teaches me that even in the darkest of days, I can always make out the shapes of happiness if I strain enough to see. They teach me that not every relationship lasts a lifetime – but that we will always have a lifetime of relationships.
If anyone were to ask me what helps most in a divorce, I would tell them: friends. Good friends. They teach me that when I ask for a miracle to help me through the rough spots, I get friends who help me through the rough spots instead. And that makes them the miracle I needed all along.”
Am I being that kind of friend? I hope so, I surely do.
Probably you’re thinking that I mean products, things, or places – but I don’t. Today I share from “The Rhythm of Life” and Matthew Kelly:
“The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. They either help us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves. We become like our friends.”
I’ve been very introspective on friendships lately. Could be because I’m getting older? Could be because those I thought were friends I could depend on, disappointed me? Could be because my circle of friends has become smaller yet tighter?
Maybe I’m making smarter, healthier choices because I really do want to become the-best-version-of-myself!
Wha’dya think?
Sorry all – I tested and retested that link before I sent it out earlier today and it worked. Not sure why (if some of you are getting the error message) it didn’t work once I hit “publish”. I’ll try to figure it out.
Was a fun recording of memories from the 50’s and 60’s!! SIGH!! Happy Monday anyway.
A friend forwarded this to me and I just had to chuckle. Most of the things I do remember altho’ I was very young, being born in the middle “fifties”. It brought a smile to my face and I wanted to share with you for “old times sake”!!
Enjoy the memories!
https://safeshare.tv/x/FEDEWZHZu
Thank you notes, a dying art form?
Not the way I was brought up.
You always said thank you. You followed that up with a hand written thank you.
Even in these days of fast paced hectic lives, you should still take time to write a thank you. (JMHO) Even though it’s nice to receive something in the mail that isn’t a bill – – – I’ll allow that a text, email or phone call can suffice if you really don’t think you can sit down for twenty seconds and write a thank you.
But can’t you? You know how special it makes you feel when you receive one, don’t you think it makes the other person feel just as special when they receive one from you?
Yes, I admit it – it’s a soapbox for me. And since the world seems to be moving away from any form of written communication, cyber space may soon become all we have to express our gratitude. Makes me sad.
I have a friend who when I get off onto one of my bad behavior/good behavior soapboxes sarcastically says to me, “Thanks Mom”! She thinks she’s insulting me, or telling me to back off. She’s doing just the opposite, because I strive to be like my Mom, who at 98 still writes a handwritten thank you. My Mom taught me the art of the thank you, and I’m grateful.
Think I’ll go write her one . . . (as soon as I climb down from my soapbox!)
I’ve shared these thoughts before, and if you’re like me, after reading them you realize there are some people in your life, past or current, who fit the description. We all have them.
The good news is, if you’re aware of it, you can change it – or at the very least, not let it alter your life in a negative way. I’ve become very aware of how some personality types can try to manipulate you – my strength in resisting this has grown. I feel sorry for them.
The better news is learning there are wonderful people in your life who do not feel that need to manipulate you, control you or drag you down.
The best news is going forward through what time on this earth I have remaining, and choosing to surround myself with happy, healthy and wholesome people who lift me up! Today you too can choose to be one of those happy, healthy and wholesome people . . . and lift someone up.
We can make 2017 freakin’ awesome! Who’s with me?
My parents were a bit older when they married. I believe WWII and Korea did that to many couples. They rushed to get married, or put it off. Mine met between the two, but Korea definitely pushed it up when my Dad’s regiment got called up.
The reason I mention having “older parents” is that while growing up, I was always around “older people”. I can remember especially how cranky most of the “older women” seemed. I wondered why, were they just mean? Were they disappointed in life? Were all their friends and family mean to them?
I promised myself I would never be cranky when I became one of those older women. Now mind you, at that young age, most of these “older women” were probably in the late 40’s, early 50’s. I’ve blown way past that age and I don’t feel “old”. But sometimes I do feel cranky.
I don’t consider myself mean, I’ve had some challenges in life but I’m not disappointed in life, and most of my friends and family are not mean. So why am I cranky?
When I saw the quote above, I had to laugh because it does describe me at my crankiest. I’ve lost patience as I’ve aged. When, in my opinion, things are not being done the way I would do them, I get irritated. I have to stop and remind myself that often there are many ways to do the same thing, and my way may not be the only way or the right way or the fastest way . . . it’s just “my” way.
I shall try to be less controlling, as mentioned above. I shall try to be less cranky as admitted to. But if you happen to ask for my opinion . . . well . . .
suddenlysinglewomen 