suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Something We All Need To Hear – – –

I hope this works. Technology “not my thing”!! (meaning the link below)

Spring is happening here in the mountains, but of course I’ve now come to understand that it’s actually just a “teaser”. Snow will return. Freezing temps will return. Don’t push that full length puffer jacket/coat too far back in the closet, I’m still going to need it.

However thinking of Spring reminds me of new beginnings. Also, it reminds me of things that are the same – and some of my longest time friends I celebrate the lasting friendship through the seasons, and the years.

Just like my gardens, some flowers are annuals, and some are perennials. The annuals add bright color and fun, but just for a while. The perennials come back year after year and you can trust that they’ll be there for you.

So what type of friend are you? Annual? Or perennial?

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1338597743965591

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Renewal – Thoughts of Spring . . . and Life

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Thought For The Day – – –

“Tomorrow isn’t promised.

There’s no second chance at this exact moment, no “next lifetime” to finally take the leap.

Say what you need to say. Chase the dream that won’t leave your heart. Tell the people you love how much they mean to you.

Take risks. Try new things. Let laughter fill your days. Do what scares you, because fear often hides the best experiences.

If something is calling you, don’t ignore it. The chance you’re waiting for is right now.

Tomorrow isn’t promised so make today count.”

I’m borrowing this from a Facebook post that one of my trainers posted this morning. When it comes to my equestrian life, I struggle with this all the time. Sometimes it scares me, sometimes it frustrates me, it’s definitely taking a risk here in the last third of my life.

My family doesn’t support me in it, my friends think I’m nuts, it’s a very small circle of people who get it. I question myself all the time – when should I walk away, throw in the towel, wise up?

Then you have a great ride and you have your answer – not yet. You look deep into the eyes of your equine partner and they stick that muzzle in your face for a smell and a rub and a blow and you think – not yet.

But the above quote isn’t just for me and about my horse, it can be about anything. Tomorrow is not promised, so get out there and do what you love, try something new, hug those you love and tell them how important they are.

Most of all?? Make today count.

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Absolutely!

We all are!! Happy September!!

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The Year Of Cleaning House – – –

And I don’t mean actually cleaning the physical house. UGH! What I’m thinking 2024 is for me is the year I’m finally gonna get “real” about relationships, both long term and short term.

Some people lift you up, some drag you down. Some people meet expectations and exceed them. Some people you keep lowering your expectations and they still disappoint. Why do we do that to ourselves?

So by cleaning house, I really am saying that some people I thought were friends, you know, the forever type? I’m moving on. It’s too exhausting to be the only one vested in the relationship. It’s too disappointing to forever be offering graciousness and latitude, gifts of kindness and opportunities, and get nothing back in return.

I know you should not “give” so that you will “receive”, but at some point the “give” doesn’t even get a thank you or an acknowledgement? And the repeated yearly “gives” become expected vs appreciated.

I just had some friends from my old hometown visit here in the mountains and we talked about life, the past, the future, shared many topics and opinions. One of the funnier conversations covered Christmas cards. One of the people that I always send to, and who never sends back, mentioned that she doesn’t spend the time or money to send them but she really does enjoy getting them and hopes to continue to receive them. I think I must’ve done a head tilt and a “huh”? Don’t you think I enjoy receiving them too? Am I not worth the cost of a stamp and the time to address a card?

I know what you’re thinking, I’m being silly, I’m being too harsh, I need to get over it. Maybe, but it just struck me that the only way to quit being disappointed, is to quit setting my self up for it to happen. So I’m cleaning house, and surrounding myself with those who appreciate my friendship, who value me as a person and understand that I am worth your time.

And I suppose I’ll be addressing fewer Christmas cards this year. (sorry for the rant, but sometimes you just need to)

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YAY – February!

Lordy, get me outta January!! Though it’s still cold, there are more sunny days and I am so grateful. 

Speaking of being grateful, I stumbled across this article the other day and thought, since many of us have run into this personality trait, it would be a great share. For me, reading it made me grateful to no longer being in the sphere of a man suffering from this. (Women display it too, not male bashing)

Give it a look see, and let me know if you’ve tried any of these hints. Heaven help me that I ever run into this again, but now at least I have a menu of things to choose from. Read and enjoy your February. 

Link: https://kimsaeed.com/2020/08/12/how-to-make-a-narcissist-miserable-12-things-they-hate/

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Turn The Page, Flip The Script – – –

And just let it go!

Great message I listened to yesterday. Really sunk in, thoughts you know you should listen to, but this time it was all in the presentation! Maybe it was the low pressure environment? Maybe it was the lack of a person’s advice making me feel guilty? Maybe it was actually the person that delivered the message? Maybe I was just ready to hear it?

As we get older (and wiser?) we begin to realize that the comfort zone in which we grew up in, or the life as we knew it until a life altering event happened, is no longer our reality. The ol’ “go with the flow” is a really hard thing to do when the rug has been pulled out from under you.

Feelings are hurt, you’re angry and resentful, and you wonder WHY? What did I do to deserve this?

Family dynamics change, friends disappear, relationships that you thought were forever, fade away. I’m the type person that works really hard to maintain the status quo, fix what’s not working. There’s a phrase I love: Preventative Maintenance! I’d much rather prevent the repair, than have the repair. Make sense?

But – I’m starting to understand that you can do all that you can do to “prevent” and still things break, and yes, I’m talking about people now, more than things. You can alter your thoughts and actions to please others, lower your expectations and still they’re not going to be happy, or give one flip about your happiness, your level of comfort.

The message I listened to yesterday was part of a series called “Peter Pan and Tinkerbell” – never growing up, never taking responsibility and only living in a world of pleasing themselves. It’s a societal problem and I have no idea how to fix it, how to repair it. The preventative maintenance should have been done years ago when we started letting people get by with things, not holding them accountable for their actions.

I’m kinda tired of trying. I’ve been disappointed for the last time. Think I’m gonna give it a rest and turn the page, flip the script and just (can you hear the Idina Menzel song from Frozen here?) LET IT GO!!

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How To Succeed In Family And Community:

Three simple truths to being a part of a healthy family and a vibrant community.

  1. Sit in Truth
  2. Walk in Love
  3. Stand against Evil

If you’re like me, some days are definitely better than others. My “actions speak louder than words”! (and sometimes those actions just irritate people)

My thoughts? They are not always positive, and I do try to banish them where they belong. Life can be a struggle, and everyone has something that is troubling them.

Sometimes if you just give it time, it’ll work itself out. Sometimes you can meet it head on and take charge. And sometimes, you just have to walk away.

I heard a great talk today about being 1) positive, 2) profound and 3) purposeful.

Sometimes we as humans flourish, sometimes we flounder.

So I’ll continue to work hard to have my best life, and be the best version of myself that I can be. I will remember that we are all just a “work in progress”.

Hope you have a great week.

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After Last Night’s Presidential Debate – – –

I don’t know many people who didn’t watch it . . . so I’ve been holding this post for a time I thought was appropriate, and after last night, I think it’s “time” to share.

No matter your political leanings, IMHO, last night was a circus, and not in a fun way.  Today I search for a kind of peace that may not be possible, but this tidbit shared with me by my buddy Diva J is certainly needed.

I hope you too can find some peace amongst the chaos that has been 2020.

 

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Fun “Differences” – – –

There is no doubt, this has been “one of those years” and I’m pretty sure we’re ready for it to “move on”!  So while we are being made painfully aware of all our racial, gender and political differences, I share below a fun list . . . of differences.

It’s relevant in my own extended family, over the pronunciation of the word “Aunt”.  How many of these have you run across?

https://www.wordgenius.com/14-words-youll-say-differently-depending-on-where-you-are-in-the-u-s/Xr0yWBPAJQAG8w-R?utm_source=blog

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